Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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