Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
