Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
