its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I want to stick my p in your. b.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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