capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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