I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
