at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
