Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
