I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
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i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
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It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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