So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
