I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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