we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Can I color on your dick again?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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