If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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