i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
