people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
