I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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