he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Rumble strips road head = magical
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
