I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
