he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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