He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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