i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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