remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
