see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
