i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
