Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
