Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
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She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
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He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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