i can't believe i had my finger in that
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
