Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize