I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We just shotgunned beers for America
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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