I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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