wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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