why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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