no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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