i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
