I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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