Buhtt sex?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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