Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
