You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
