Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think I died a long time ago.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
