Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
