I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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