I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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