I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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