my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
