So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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