the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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