Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
