i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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