dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
