playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Alive.
So much puke
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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