i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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