hell yes lets make some ravioli
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
