She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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