everyone is single if you try hard enough
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
