So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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