singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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