About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i think my cat just said my name.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
